My Last Post

It’s two completely separate conversations that start the chain of thoughts. The first one about what we choose – I choose – to share on the internet; the second a conversation about the importance of letting go of the past. When I think about it, it links to what I have long suspected to be […]

HAVE YOU GOT OCD? TAKE THE TEST NOW!

Can’t wait to tell all your friends that you’ve got an obscure yet trendy mental health problem? Been feeling a bit uncomfortable when you notice your sausage is not central on your plate? Want to find out if you’ve got OCD? Find out here!

For Every Season

Imagine that you’re shining a torch on an orange. Actually, don’t bother: I tried that and it gets confusing when you’ve got shaky hands. Imagine Space. The Milky Way, to be precise, because doing the whole thing in one go is quite hard. Zoom in and you’ll find our Solar System. There, you’ll find eight […]

You Can Do Anything

So, it’s Friday morning and I’m sitting backwards in a circle of fifty people whilst someone occasionally squeezes my shoulders. I am also sobbing (not so) quietly to myself. I’ve been away. For those of you who have known me for some time, you will know that this is a big thing. I do not leave […]

Animal Brains and Armies

I’ve had a difficult week this week. I have described it to myself like this: a switch in my head flicked, possibly around Wednesday, and my animal brain took over. Unfortunately, it appears that my animal brain is the part that controls my anorexia. It will be hard to understand for people whose brains simply […]

Boundaries

I think most people would agree that, in many ways, rules are entirely unhelpful in recovering from Anorexia, the wider canon of eating disorders and many mental health conditions. It seems somewhat counter-intuitive to replace one set of ill-advised, damaging rules with any others. For someone who has spent years, or even decades, living inside […]

About the Food

The current trend is for everyone to say that anorexia isn’t ‘about the food’. That’s what people say when they’re trying to sound knowledgeable and as though they have an insider perspective on what’s going on inside your head. Personally – and you have every right to disagree with me – I think that it’s […]

My life in squares

I have always been jealous of people with hobbies. People who are naturally talented at something and can share it with others; spend their time creating things or achieving things whilst gaining satisfaction from the process. This has never been me – as my Mum once said, my greatest talent is my ‘enthusiasm’. This is […]

Motivation and where has it gone?

I am sitting on my bed. It is Sunday and the radiator is slightly too warm on my back. I know I should be doing something: the blanket I’m crocheting for my therapist is on one side of me; I’m not sure whether there is anything I should be preparing for tomorrow’s English lesson, and […]

Continue

The darkest hour comes before the dawn. Have you ever had a migraine? A headache where the hurt comes in flashes and pulses, and you experience a split second of pain so intense that you wish to be outside your own head. A split second where you feel separate from humanity and – religious or […]