My Last Post

It’s two completely separate conversations that start the chain of thoughts. The first one about what we choose – I choose – to share on the internet; the second a conversation about the importance of letting go of the past. When I think about it, it links to what I have long suspected to be […]

Excuses excuses

Without doubt, we should all have patience and an understanding that people living with poor mental health don’t always find things easy. We should accept that we may need to do things slightly differently to accommodate them. It might be necessary for us to take on a little extra so that they can cope on […]

April 2020

It has been a long, hard winter. A winter of restriction and of desperation; a winter where I returned to starvation because I thought – yet again – I had found the answer in my own diminishment, where I strove for a painful state of perfect. The winter was concrete grey. Flat. And now, we […]

The (Com)promise

When I started this blog, I promised (if not to anyone who may happen upon the site, to myself), that it would be real. There tends to be a view, made worse by the media, that Anorexia – if not a lifestyle choice where people eat cauliflowers moulded into different carbohydrates and crack vegan eggs […]

July 1st

I haven’t got much to say today apart from that it’s four years since I made the choice to start eating again. To sit in the Dining Room on a blistering hot day and to finish the food in front of me. To recover. It wasn’t perfect and it’s not perfect. It’s not always even […]

Life After

Mental illness is exhausting – there’s no doubt about it. It’s like having a new puppy that demands constant attention and never grows up. Every time you think it’s settled for a while, it wakes up and cries, or demands to be fed, or wees on your new rug. It can be – and is […]

The Journey Home

I have never really been anywhere. Well, obviously I have, but I have never travelled away from what I know to find myself. I am one of those people who watches TV. I have a chair and a blanket and some crocheting to be getting on with and I love to have something – anything […]

The Rabbit Hole

I’m going to be honest. I’m not in a good place at the moment. Physically, I know that I’m the furthest away from what I should be that I have been since I was discharged from hospital. Mentally, I’m never so sure, because I always feel that – when I get to the point that […]

Appointment Fatigue

I had a dentist appointment on Monday. Strictly speaking, I should have had a dentist appointment some time before that but I had been putting it off. I know that ‘suck it up’ is a pretty good way to get through things you don’t want to do, but the dentist just takes the biscuit. She […]

Eating Disorders’ Bragging Week

I am bored. I am bored of Eating Disorders Awareness Week and how it’s just turned into ‘show off your dramatic story with pictures’ week. That’s not the point. The point is to educate people about eating disorders. The point is to educate people so that they can spot them in themselves or others at […]